Instant Replay: The Death of Sports As We Know

            Last night I watched one of the best games I have ever watched as a sports fan. The box score was less than desirable for most casual watchers, but not to true fans. Did I witness a touchdown? Nope. But I did watch two team beat the hell out of each other for four quarters of defensive based football. However, it seemed that on cue every third play was brutally interrupted with fourty five seconds of referee huddles and reviews. This evening, after a long day at work I sit down to watch an NFL battle that could briefly be described as blood vs. guts. And again, seven and a half hours later I am falling asleep to the half time show (slight exaggeration about the time frame but barely). How have we gotten to the point where sixty minutes on the clock stretches FOUR HOURS?? At this point calling it ridiculous doesn't seem to due justice. Calling it a normal growth to the modernization of the game does though. Rewriting the rules to make sure that every scoring play is reviewed, re-reviewed and sent to a jury of my peers is just unnecessary. Maybe, and this is a huge maybe, if they got the play calling right every time after three minutes of deliberation, you could justify stopping the game constantly. I myself am a fan of the human error factor. Striving for perfection will lead to sensors on the sidelines and red lights on the end zones (sorry NHL, but it is a little odd). There are many a flaws with major league baseball, but the one issue they stand firm on is instant replay. Umpires aren't afraid to call a strike or a double play because they are the authority, 'nuff said. In football the scrutiny is so swollen that missing a call, or incorrectly calling a play mean you aren't voted to ref in a playoff game, or viewed as a sham. The referees are just as good at their jobs as the athletes they officiate, so why do we put next to no faith in them? The rules are what they are (I think they are soft and getting even softer) but interpreting said rules lies in the discretion of the men and women we put on the field, and that's where it should stay. Give the refs their field, and give me my game back.

The Sad, Sad Sad Numbers of the NBA Lockout

            In previous articles I have smeared Derek Fisher as an over the hill, under efficient player not capable of representing the players union. And until today, I stood by that statement fully. Okay, honestly I still stick by the first half of that statement, but maybe he is better for the players and I originally thought. Plus, when the other option is Billy Hunter, Derek Fisher looks like the next coming of Jimmy Hoffa. Here are the top ten reasons Billy Hunter will be fired as soon as (if not before) the NBA shuts this season down. Reason # 10.... He has put the players in a position reminiscent of an innocent prisoner staring up at a sadomasochist guard. Reasons #9-#1....Despite him pissing away ALL leverage the players may have had, all Mr.Hunter seems to be concerned with is self preservation. How terribly ironic, a man with thousands of greedy millionaires futures at stake is only concerned with his cut. Alright in all honesty I do not know what irony really means, it just sounds fancy.

          When I did some quick mental math on some of the labor disagreements, it blew my mind to discover how small of numbers they were actually fighting about (considering the million dollar contracts they own already). If the NBA were to split their revenue with the player at a 52% rate that would be roughly 5,700  dollars a game, per player, PER GAME. If my math is incorrect, check me on it but here is my numbers. A 4.1 billion dollar revenue divided by 30 teams, divided by 15 players per team, divided by 82 games a season would equal upwards of 57 hundred per game. It is sickening, I know. But here is the kicker my friends. The difference between 52 percent and 51 percent is around one hundred dollars per game, or roughly the price it costs per person to go to an NBA game. When it is broken down to a per game basis, it is ridiculous to think that these boys would not be willing to play for maybe two hundred dollars less, per game! Oh, just for the record, this is not contingent on their salary....this is revenue sharing. I wish the Clippers would hold open tryouts tomorrow because not only could I make the scab team with my no experience, but I would gladly take a quarter of the revenue sharing alone.

          I HATE what the NBA is doing right now, but I am appalled with the numbers. Maybe more appalling however is my lockout, the NBA fan lockout. No longer will I watch the NBA. I am taking a stand as a human being who works 60+ hours a week for peanuts. Until they publicly apologize to the fans for being arrogant asses that deserve to have to schlep boxes and answer phones, the NCAA has my full attention, and not just in March. And because of my inherent math skills due to not being a part of the NBAPU, losing me as a fan means there are only about 34 left. Good luck Billy Hunter/Derek Fisher/David Stern/Memphis/Charlotte/Sacramento/Utah/where does this back slash end?.

The Day The Earth Stood Still

            October means World Series baseball, mid-season NFL football, the tip off of NCAA basketball and the NBA season (normally). There is a plethora of things that I would be upset to talk about this week, however the NBA is the top of my list. Having that said I will only dedicate one paragraph (and tomorrows blog) to the ever sickening situation that is the NBA lockout.
            Oh where, oh where has the NBA gone? I'm right here behind this lockout! I am giving this cluster fruck ten more minutes before I stop caring. And by publishing this, I will have you know that I am one of six people that actually care about the upcoming season. The other five you ask...Derick Fisher, the most irrelevant starter in the league (Oh, did I mention he is the PLAYER REPRESENTATIVE. Stand up guy, and a great person. His off-court reputation is immaculate. All of that is totally irrelevant to the NBA, but what a nice guy.) David Stern...my instinct says he is the answer but my gut says he is also the problem. Kobe Bryant/Kevin Garnett/Dwayne Wade/every super star not named Lebron James or Derrick Rose....I'm counting that group as one to make a point. Lebron/Rose has more pull in this than players B(ryant)-W(ade). Why oh why, do you ask my friend? Star power made this league insanely unsustainable. And only the messiah can save it. I will explain more, but not here, not now. My next article is all about the King James Theory. Trust me, keep reading. The fourth finger points at the agents. Let me offer a scenario... go to Europe guys, make a million in 2 months and sell some jerseys. Gain some fans if you can because God knows your egotistical fight for .05 million as opposed to .04 million is creating a lot of appeal in the States. Bottom line is ANY publicity is good publicity, for agents and attorneys. The fifth on my list is the most beautiful and the most forgotten. The cheerleaders and mascots that rely on employment via NBA games. I know that right now you are saying 'If you picked to be a monkey/hootchie/any other animal/hot dog salesman or other silly icon were you really thinking about the long term?'. An honest living is an honest living. I work two jobs and write for free. Sixty hours a week I spend trying to make money for me and my loving girlfriend. I am not fortunate to be 6 foot 8. I can dunk, if nobody else in on the court. My life is lived paycheck to paycheck, like the NBA boys. The difference is square footage, Maybachs vs. stressed backs. I am the last of a dying breed....the remaining NBA fans.

A State Divided

           Some articles seem to write themselves. The flowing words leap from a place unbeknownst to the author. All of the passion, emotion and dire need to impress upon the reader a sense of urgency for their cause is reminiscent of frantic scratches on the sheet music of Motzart.Wars are waged, empires toppled and constitutions are born on the back of such adamant distrust and hatred for the ever present arch enemy. The man who was once your neighbor, kin or loved one is now on the other side of lines drawn in the sand. All hope of reconciliation is lost in the slur of insultive anger.  The American colonist cried 'No taxation without representation'. During the civil war Abraham Lincoln famously stated that "A country divided cannot stand.". The land of the free and the home of the brave has seen its share of dividing causes, and is still in the grip of a ongoing struggle against itself, pitting brother against brother on the battlefield. Once a year in a grueling war, everyone in the state of Michigan is forced to decide, Go Green, or Go Blue. I ask you my friends, can't we all just get along? (And if not can't we all agree U of M is better??)

           When the annual Michigan vs. Michigan State game appeared on my blogging radar, I knew that somehow I had to do it justice. But how could I possibly deliver a story unbiasedly when I live in Ann Arbor, bleed maize and blue and been diagnosed with Hokemania (the cure is more cowbell)? And there I was, sitting in front of my laptop staring at a blank page with one fragment of a sentence jotted in the title line. U of M V. MSU. And it hit me like a ton of bricks, or like the MSU players hit their girlfriends books. The best part about this game is the intensity and passion. The love/hate relationship that permeates for 364 days a year. Your best friend, girlfriend, neighbors, bosses and subordinates may be fans, or even worse, alums of the other side. All that aside, for 11 out of 12 weeks we are blessed with collegiate football, this is merely a friendly point at which to joust and roues. That one week, however, when the Wolverines due battle with the Spartans, the gloves are off (Unless you go to State, then you weren't smart enough to have gloves on in the first place). To say that this game is merely a rivalry clash between competing powerhouses that reside about an hour apart from each other doesn't quite do it justice. This my friend, is a civil war.

           From the day you are born a Michigander, your fate is more than likely decided. There may be a warm blue blanket draped around your newborn body. There may be a pig nicknamed Sparty in the stall next to you. Whichever your fate, it is one worn proudly by all native to our fine state. I myself, was born in New York and had no direct ties to either side. The choice was mine, or so I thought. Upon arrival, we settled about twenty mile outside of Ann Arbor so naturally the air was thick with tradition and a spirit of winning. However, to my memory I first sported a green sweatsuit with Sparty on the back. Later, I found out that the matching sweatsuit I once wore is actually called a Lansing tuxedo. I knew no better, I was an innocent youth. It did not take long before decency and common sense caused me to shed my green outerwear and let my blue shine through.
          For those of you who attended MSU and may be upset by me making fun of your kind, first let me say congratulations for making it this far into the article, the odds were not in your favor. Secondly, it is all in good fun. I cheer for wins for our little brother every week, minus the week you have to chase winged helmets around the field. And just to be fair, the last three seasons the neighbors to the north (not you Canada, but keep reading and someday I will mention hockey) have had our number*. -The asterisk is part of my "Erase The Rich Rod Years From Memory" campaign. Starts with an *, ends with the lasers from Men In Black, even if I have to do it to myself. The Hoke era starts this week, and as much as I love to watch OSU tank, that pushes this years big win to Saturday. A must win at a bad time. Michigan is full of confidence and is simply over rated. If I have to explain myself then you are not a Michigan fan, you are in denial. There have been improvements in every facet of the game. That is great, but in the top 15 in the country for beating Eastern, Western, SDSU and Minnesota, egh. And as for our rivals, they were lucky enough to get an extra week off to game plan against our offense, a.k.a Shoelaces.
             In all honesty this is shaping up to be a great game, which is exactly what we are all hoping for, Green or Blue. And just to even the score for all the shots I have thrown at MSU fans throughout this blog, I am willing to make a bet with Sparty nation. If Michigan loses I will flip over a cop car, light it on fire and start a drunken riot filled with hill folk and unsuspecting passers by, continuing into the morning hours until the S.W.A.T. team is called in....oh wait, you guys do that win or lose. GO BLUE!!

Welcome To The Jungle

            As the sun rose across the country this morning, 99% of the land was in a state of normalcy. Back to the grind, back to school and back to the routine for Americana. As dogs were being walked and kids were shuffling onto buses, one city was finally opening their eyes. A new life, the likes of which was unseen to the vast majority of its inhabitants. The air was permeating with a sense of renewal. The morning dew was greeted by sneakers walking with an inspired stride. While the smokestacks plumed, the people basked in the electricity. Timeclocks were punched, phones were answered, offices filled. There was an unspoken unity, a bond that all shared. But today this city was alive in a new way. Although I live miles away from the city limits, this city is my city, one I am proud to embrace and call my own. Normally the vast problems stretch far beyond any jurisdiction, seeping into the surrounding communities. What makes today so special is that for the first time in nearly a decade, the achievements of that city encompass us all. Today, I am a Detroiter, and today I never been as proud to say so.
           So what then, you ask, could this city and state possibly find to be so incredibly positive about?The Detroit Lions. Soak it in, laugh a little. When you are finished, continue reading. The presidential primary doesn't start for another month. Ford Motor Company has found itself in a lockout that makes me (A HUGE NBA supporter and fan) chuckle at the notion of sports lockouts. The crime rate, exponential. The former mayor of Detroit was just released from prison and owes our city over a million dollars. Roads are falling apart, public schools are failing and the future economic plan is dreary with a chance of thunderstorms. To say that Michigan has some issues is an understatement. During the worst recessional period in the US since the great depression, Michigan is damn near bottom of the barrel. But who am I telling, the majority of my readers live/have family here. 
             When I awoke this morning, no economic development plan had been passed for our down trotten state. No job/works bills were being pushed into the house of legislation. The school attendance numbers did not jump over night and retirees were still going to be taxed on their pensions. From Sunday night to Monday morning there was little to no economical development in the state of Michigan as a whole. There was however, a new sun on the horizon. A sun that showed us that after years of embarrassment, underachievement and downright failure on a national level, we can compete. For all the industial departure, political promises and governmental failure, the fire we were trapped in burnt long and hot.  We have survived, barely. We will live to see another day, and that day is ours. There is no sudden fix for what our state/city has went through over the last decade except for perception and attitude adjustment. Some may think it is silly or ignorant to think that a sports team could instill a new direction into a much maligned area, but look around my doubting Thomas', it is happening.
           A team that literally went win less over the course of an entire season, only for the second time in NFL history, is now undefeated. And stretching into last season, they have recorded 9 straight wins, 13 counting preseason victories as well. So what is it that brought the laughing stock of all sports franchises out of the depths of hell, and into the rights of glory? Did they flip their team from head to toe and go a completely different direction, scraping everything from the previous two decades? In part, yes. The firings started from the top down, and the emergence of many young super stars were all part of the new face. But you cannot put on a new face without changing the thought in that mind, and we have. For the first time in maybe 30 years, these guys believe they can win. And maybe, just maybe this morning was the first time that Detroit thought it could win as well. To say that the Lions have erased 30 years of woes in five weeks is insane, and the same point has to be made about the city they reside in. But to say that both are turning the corner in not just optimistic, it is a bet I would gladly take.
          The Motor City is a rough place, not known as a place for venture capitalists or millionaire retreats. So how fitting is it that the team pulling our spirits out of the gutter holds the same mantra. If you look at some great teams, particularly the Steelers, they fit the attitude of the city. Finally our team fits the city on its shoulders. The chip we carry would have made most call off, go on injured reserve, or just plain quit. But not here, not in Detroit. The pride of Detroit has to be the 'phoenix' mentality. The flames may have left scars, but simply to remind us where we have been. Fight on Lions, fight on Detroit.

Throught the darkness, the sun shall rise

          I have chosen to spend the majority of my blogging nitpicking about what is wrong with sports today. Well let me be the first to admit that we as fans (and maybe the bash-bloggers' too) need to share in the responsibility. After all, if a home run is hit in the woods, (or maybe more accurately Tropicana Field) does it make a noise? My answer to this rhetorical question is maybe. So let us erase this current notion of athletic immorality and venture back to yester year and examine some hot button issues from that perspective.

          In today's headlines, littered amongst praise for all things Verlandian, is a snip it of the woe that is The Ohio State University. For those of you who may not be aware, after decades of domination in the Big Ten, OSU took one (or six by my count) nasty blow to the face. In a 'scandal' that cost them their starting quarterback, running back and head coach among others, they fell from top of the heap to bottom of the barrel overnight. Now, after AD Gene Smith has placed blame squarely of Jimmy Tressels' shoulders and shipped him to the Colts (tough break by the way) we find out MORE suspensions and fine are coming. This time it wasn't free tattoos, it was being paid to work, while not actually working. Something that this humble writer/waiter is guilty of at this very moment. OK Neil, reel it in now. The point of this article is not to bash OSU of the head, even though its as natural for me as a duck in water.
           The NCAA is very strict on student athletes not taking money for playing at a particular university. That means NO monetary compensation whatsoever, regardless that a high caliber recruit can bring in literally millions in revenue each year. The rule is extremely out of date and overly encompassing, to the point that in some cases players can't even keep jerseys they wore while playing. Regardless of how ignorantly structured to rule is, every team from USC to Backwoods U has to follow the same rule, thus making it appear fair. OSU has been in the wrong more times this year than most other universities have in the last decade, or so it would appear. This rule is made for little schools to hang around the neck of the proverbial Goliath they cannot compete with. I have never defended the scarlet and silver in my life and I don't like the rumbling in my gut right now, so let me cut to the chase so I can go vomit and light some incense the altar of Hoke. Teams have been doing this since the beginning of time. All that has changed is the media coverage incurred by rule breakers. Its not going to stop anyone by catching them with their pants down....repeatedly in OSU's case. The culture that has been created will not revert itself back to Dudley Doorite status anytime soon. I understand that the integrity of the game rests on the student athletes remaining amateurs, but when most every major university is guilty of violations in one context or another, shouldn't the rules be reexamined? Either return to the 'everyone look away' era, or come up with some actual penalties that will make teams fear the repercussions. The media is going to blast teams they deem are guilty, and now a days it only takes one anonymous tweet. Don't threaten the 'death sentence' and give then 3 years probation. In this instance we should take a page from the Texas State Legislature, maybe. I know the execs of the NCAA won't like the idea of getting a little blood on your hands but it may save the face you so much adore. Plus, nothing sends a message like a little hard time, just ask Roger Clemons.

A Day, A Week, A Year

            Attention all: THE WORLD OF SPORTS IS IN PERIL. OK that was a little dramatic even for me. But I am almost pressing the panic button. The last time we spoke the Boston Redsox were a lock, the Buffalo Bills were undefeated and the NBA was still a glimmer of hope on the horizon. Oh how quickly the seasons change...To say that it was a week of turmoil in professional (and collegiate) sports is to call World War II a 'minor skirmish between neighbors'.  In case you are wondering, my dramatic/artistic license was just renewed so you have two more years of bad puns and illegitimate references. But through it all there is one issue that has been nagging at me repeatedly.


          Why is it that the NBA cannot come to an agreement on "labor issues". The last time I checked labor issues involved labor, not the lack of. The predicament that David Stern, NBA commissioner and the players union have gotten themselves into is ugly, disgusting, and sickening. Everyone wants to dissect which party is at fault, and which needs to give way to end the stupidity. I rest blame solely on the shoulders of those most deserving, everyone involved. David Stern hasn't budged an inch in negotiations, and the players have shot themselves in the foot again and again by not budging. Lets retract four months....this is where the wavy lines and fogginess take you back to a time far gone.
          It's June and The Dream Team is playing The German National Team for the gold medal. I would change that sentence if you gave me one reason that it was incorrect. The entire nation (including a surprising majority of Cleveland) is praying for the inevitable to not be true. But wait, could it be??? Here comes a 7 foot tall foreigner with a fade-away jumper that rivals Kobe Bryants' famous closeout move (actually they proved he was innocent, the 'fade-away' was consensual) to send daggers into the hearts of few. The point is that everyone had a team, everyone was cheering for somebody finally. The NBA was at a high point unseen since Jordan v. Kemp/Malone/Thomas/Anyone.
          Now ask yourself, what would be the next logical choice for ANYONE involved in the upcoming labor negotiations. If you answered lockout, sign non-pending contracts with overseas teams and show no sign of budging on a series of incredibly out of date monetary agreements with your owners, you are incorrect. To be fair, picture your self as an NBA owner as well. What is your incorrect move? If you answered do not give into your celebrity elite that you have thrived on for a decade, claim you are losing money, get caught lying and then STILL not budge on simple things like free agency then you are 0-2, and you fail. However by failing you have also passed the test to be an NBA owner, agent or superstar.
         So where do we go from here? How did we get here? Will this happen again as soon as the next contract expires? The answers are darker and less optimistic than I would like to examine, but it makes for one hell of an article. The Jordan-era ushered in a new breed of athlete, one that came with many upsides, and downsides. Every team tried to reproduce the structure of what he was. Not as a player, not as a man, but as a commodity that could be bought and sold (and when the time granted, traded). With every organization that found a winner there was ten that bet on a losing pony. Even with such horrible odds, if your team got the Kevin Garnett or Lebron James of the draft, it was worth five Darko Milicic and Shawn Bradleys. But with 32 teams, the majority aren't getting James, Dunkin, Pierce. Add into the equation that your immaculate savior is all of eighteen years old with a couple million in his pocket and NBA< Sustainable. The answer isn't as simple as pinpointing the problem, but it may be as rational. The first among many changes needs to be the age rules. A nineteen year old is more than likely not capable of responsibly handling life, add a couple million and free airfare across the world and the numbers dip astronomically. Pressure these kids to spend a couple years in college, or at least just outside of where they grew up and get the notion of being a productive member of society in their head. Just because you are 6'8" and can dunk from the locker room doesn't mean you can make a good decision. Enough of those people in one room make a lockout (example 2011 lockout). After all is said and done I don't think this is the end of professional basketball. In fact, I think all will return to normal. Normal being the fickle two-headed beast that we the fans have created. In answer to the final question I posed, yes this will happen every time the current contract expires. It happens in every union across the country, what would make this one any different? Maybe television, marketing rights, merchandising and stadium renewals??